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Showing posts from February, 2023

Why people who have "learned helplessness" can never start a business

 They have all the books, all the mentors, all the money in the world. But if they are unable to make their own decision, they are really doomed. They rely on someone to validate their decision. No one will do this honestly. You need to put yourself out there and risk losing. Skin in the game. That's the hard truth. You will get hurt. It will be anxiety-provoking. It will be really really hard. You have to fail multiple times. You have to get out of that loop. As the popular mantra says, JUST DO IT. Don't ADHD it. Face your fears head on.

Love over Ego

There are many smart people in this world who aren't successful. Will Hunting (from the movie 'Good Will Hunting') is one example. He is the prototypical genius who doesn't have emotional intelligence. It wasn't his fault, as he came from a very tough childhood background. In the movie, he has a girlfriend who challenges him, although not in the way of typical IQ, but of the matter of emotion. It is key to recognize who you are in this World and how you fit in. What is your family background? What is your support network like? Who are your friends? I always needed to be right in every argument. That's the big ego coming out. But what if your friends love you, but they know you do have a massive ego? How do they reach you? They could just say it, "You have a big EGO". But maybe more effective is the experience of tripping, the experience of vulnerability. You will scream, shout, and yell at the top of your lungs. Your ego is hurting. But emotionally, yo

What to do if you are lacking direction in life?

 Lacking direction in life is painful. You see others having solid direction and feel jealous of their successes. This painful feeling can lead to impulsive behaviour to avoid the feeling. Don’t give in. You need to stop being a people pleaser. Be concrete of your values and passions. Work on yourself. ——chatGPT version—— If you're feeling lacking direction in life, consider taking the following steps: Identify your values and interests: What are the things that matter to you and what do you enjoy doing? Set goals: Break down your long-term aspirations into smaller, achievable goals. Create a plan: Make a roadmap to help you achieve your goals, including actionable steps and deadlines. Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a professional counselor to help you stay on track. Experiment and take calculated risks: Don't be afraid to try new things and explore different paths. Reflect and reassess: Regularly evaluate your progress and make adjustments to your plan as needed. Re

Do you ever feel dread when there is no structure in your day?

  Picture this. You had a great week of paid work, a productive session cleaning up the home, and you've spent time with your friends. Now you have some time to yourself to do whatever you want. Do you feel anxious? I know I use to. Are you a planning type of personality? Then plan your day out. Are you a hybrid of planning and spontaneous personality? Then plan 1-2 hours of activity, and use the other time to really do what you want and don't feel guilty for it. You deserve this free, unstructured time. Or put it another way, you need to learn to deal with this unstructured time. Spontaneous personalities who feel anxious should overcome their fear by practicing small exposure to free time. I have a spontaneous personality, yet still think, "what activity do I do that maximizes my time?" No need to feel anxious. Just do it. Feel gratitude for the ability to learn and experience. The important thing is to keep active and keep moving. If your spontaneous thing is  to d